Dear Diary

After another round of shoveling today, this story came to mind. I don’t know who wrote it originally but I’ve had it “typed” on a piece of paper that someone gave me for years now. I have seen various versions online but this is the version I have and will share. I wish I knew the author as they were right one!

Aug. 12  Moved to our new home in Minnesota.  It is so beautiful here.  The woods are so majestic.  Can hardly wait to see them with snow covering them.  I love it here.

Oct. 14  Minnesota is the most beautiful place on earth.  The leaves are turning all shades of red and orange.  Went for a ride through the beautiful woods and saw some deer.  They are so graceful, certainly they are the most wonderful animal on earth.  This must be Paradise.  I love it here.

Nov. 11  Deer season will start soon.  I can’t imagine anyone wanting to kill such a gorgeous creature.  Hope it will snow soon.  I love it here.

Dec. 2    It snowed last night.  Woke up to find everything blanketed with white.  It looks like a postcard.  We went outside and cleaned the snow off the steps and shovelled the driveway.  We had a snowball fight (I won), and when the snow plow came by we had to shovel the driveway again.  What a beautiful place.  I love Minnesota!

Dec. 12  More snow last night.  I love it.  The snow plow did his trick again in the driveway.  I love it here.

Dec. 19  More snow last night.  Couldn’t get out of the driveway to get to work.  I am exhausted from shovelling snow.  Dang snowplow.

Dec.  22  More of that white crap fell last night.  I’ve got blisters on my hands from shovelling.  I think the snowplow hides around the corner and waits until I’m done shovelling the driveway.  Jerk!!!

Dec. 25  Merry Christmas!  More of that snow.  If I ever get my hands on the guy who drives that snowplow, I swear I’ll kill him.  Don’t know why they don’t use more salt on the roads to melt the darn ice.

Dec. 27  More white crap last night.  Been inside for 3 days except for shovelling out the driveway after that snow plow goes through every time.  Can’t go anywhere, car’s stuck in a mountain of white stuff.  The weatherman says to expect another 10” of this white crap again tonight.  Do you know how many shovels full of snow 10” is?

Dec. 28  The weatherman was wrong.  We got 34” of that white crap this time.  At this rate it won’t melt before next summer.  The snow plow got stuck up the road and that driver came to the door and asked to borrow my shovel.  After I told him I had broken six shovels already shovelling all the crap he pushed into the driveway, I broke my last shovel over his head.

Jan. 4    Finally got out of the house today.  Went to the store to get food and on the way back a deer ran in front of the car and I hit it.  Did about $3,000 damage to the car.  Those beasts should be shot.  Wished the hunters had killed more of them last November.

May 3    Took the car to the garage in town.  Would you believe the thing is rusting out from all the salt they put on the roads.

May 10  Moved to California.  I can’t imagine why anyone in their right mind would ever live in that God-forsaken state of Minnesota.